December 2010
2 posts
If there was a God, we'd all be dead by now.
That’s the plan. Jesus, I hate the holidays, you pretend to like people you don’t. You tolerate and sit beside them while you share a meal and a fake smile. What’s the point? Is this what God planned for us on the last day of creation? Did he wonder to himself, well let me just make sure that Edmund here will want to completely fuck himself in the head while he has to sit through...
Worst haircut I've ever had?
It was in high school and my dad thought that if he could shave his dogs, how hard would it be to give me a haircut? Who was the bigger fool? Him for thinking he could give me a haircut? Or me? For letting him? I wonder if someday when I have a kid, if I’ll have some half baked idea to fuck something up on or in his head, then I’ll turn around and scream at my wife, “For God’s sake I’m turning...